We all have a voice inside our head and sometimes it cheers us on, but all too often, it criticizes us —harshly, unfairly, and repeatedly. That’s the inner critic, and while it may think it's keeping you safe or motivated, it often just keeps you stuck.

But here’s the truth...that voice isn’t the truth. It’s just a mental playlist on repeat; it’s one you didn’t choose, but absorbed somewhere along the way. The good news? You can change the track! You can reprogram that internal soundtrack from self-criticism to self-coaching.

Here’s how:

 Step 1 - Notice the Noise

Start paying attention to what’s playing in the background of your mind.

1. “I'll fail”

I'm going to mess up my half pass in the test again. The judge will see me lose connection and it will all fall apart.”

2. “I'm not good enough”

“I don’t have the feel or skill to ride the pirouette correctly. Other riders progress faster and are much better, I'm just wasting my time.”

3. “Everyone’s judging me”

“The other riders saw my horse throw a change on centerline and they’re all thinking I don’t know what I'm doing.”

These thoughts feel automatic, but they’re not facts. They’re actually learned scripts and if you don’t question them, they’ll keep playing.

 Step 2 - Turn Your Inner Critic on Your Inner Critic

This is classic CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) in action. It means stepping back and asking:

- Where’s the evidence?

- Is this even true?

- Would I say this to someone I care about?

- Is this helping or hurting me?

Treat those thoughts like a bad review with no proof. Call them out!

Step 3 - Build Your Inner Coach Playlist

Now it's time to consciously reprogram your mental playlist. Imagine you’re creating a motivational mix that’s neither unhelpful or full of toxic positivity. Instead, it’s supportive, grounded and empowering encouragement.

Reframe the negative , unhelpful thoughts:

1.  “I always mess up.”
   Reframe:
   “Everyone makes mistakes. Even top riders have off days. Each time I ride, I learn more about how to be more aware and ride every movement.
2.  “I’m not good at this.”
   Reframe: I’m still learning, I’m focused and get better with practice.” 
3.   "They’ll all judge me.”
   Reframe: “It’s okay to be seen. I’m allowed to show up as myself and make mistakes and grow from them. It’s about progress, not perfection.”

Put these on replay, say them out loud, write them down. Repeat them until they become familiar and the mental default.

Step 4 - Exposure Rewrites the Track

Here’s the next-level move! Do the things your inner critic tells you not to do.

- Scared of speaking up in a group? Say one sentence.

- Avoiding a show or clinic because you feel “not good enough”? Prepare and do it anyway.

Every time you expose yourself to the thing you fear or judge, you prove your critic wrong, not by arguing with it, but by living beyond it.

Step 5 - Set Yourself Up for Success

Your new inner coach doesn’t demand perfection, it sets you up to succeed.

That means:

Small wins > Big leaps

Self-compassion > Self-pressure

Consistency > Intensity

Build routines that reinforce your growth. Surround yourself with people and content that echo your new mental playlist.

Final Thought - You’re the Content Creator Now

You may not have chosen your first mental playlist but now, you get to curate it. The old critic voice might never vanish entirely, but it doesn’t get to be the influencer anymore.

Tip: Start small by choosing one new thought. Repeat it everyday. Believe it a little more each time.